What Happens In Vegas
by Amestris-Exile
Summary: Greed gets carried away one night in the City of Sin and wakes up with a little surprise on his hand. A self insert fic for a friend of mine on Gaia. T for minor language.


A self-insert for Homunculi-Obsession on Gaia. Ily, kiddo!

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Greed was never an early morning person, _especially _when said Sin had a hangover, which was often mind you. Being the... for lack of a better word, greedy person that he was, he loved nothing more than to stay up all night and kill his liver with booze, screw some chick that he would never remember, and wake up the next morning to regenerate whatever organs that the alcohol had killed off the night before. It was a tiring process, but for some odd reason it never got old. The way Greed saw it, he couldn't die, so he may as well use it to his advantage. He'd somehow ended up in Vegas within the last few weeks, and no one knows for certain exactly how. But to put it simply: Greed + Vegas instant love. No Homunculi to deal with, no Elrics, all the girls and booze he could handle... this place was heaven. 

This morning Greed found himself with a particularly vicious hangover. The clock on the bedside table was blaring 9:00 am with its red neon numbers, making Greed's eyes sting as a migraine that would make a normal person shoot themself set in. 'Uch... I thought I said _ease off_ on the schnapps,' he murmered, bringing a hand to his face and wiping his bleary eyes. It wasn't until that moment that he noticed the girl that was still sleeping soundly on his right arm. She looked to be in her early- to mid- 20's: long black hair, pale, smooth skin, and small, rather fragile-looking build. Greed's stirring awoke her, eyelids opening to reveal amber eyes. She shook her head a bit, yawning as her gaze fell upon the Homunculus laying beside her. 'Morning,' she said, smiling tiredly. 'What was your name again? I've got too much of a migraine to remember it, sorry.' Greed shook his head, smiling back. 'Nah, it's fine. I'm the same way. Greed,' he replied. The girl nodded, yawning again before sitting up. 'I'm Leigh.' As soon as she said that, it was like someome had smacked Greed with a sack of bricks. 'Wait a second... exactly what happened last night?' he asked, furrowing his eyebrows in thought. But he was unable to focus, however, and soon abandoned the notion. The girl named Leigh shook her head, shrugging slightly. 'I don't reme--' It wasn't until that moment that either one of them had taken notice to their left hands. 'Oh... dear... God.' All signs of fatigue gone and replaced with looks of pure horror, they looked down at their hands, then back up at each other, then down at their hands again. 'Oh f-ck me,' Greed muttered, sitting up as well. Each was sporting a gold band on their left ring finger.

Leigh turned away from him, sitting on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands. 'I told Tracy to not let me get too smashed,' she grumbled, biting her bottom lip. Greed was stunend speechless, only able to gawk at his situation and the reality of what had happened the night before. 'So you're telling me that you and I are... _married?'_ he asked, placing particular emphasis on the last word. Leigh turned back around to face him, nodding slowly. 'Apparently so. Shit. Well... what do we do now?' Greed shrugged, holding his hands up bank robber-style. 'Shoot me. I dunno. Are there any divorce chapels around here?'  
'Not that I know of'  
'Well, there should be. With all the wedding chapels it'd balance things out.'  
At this Leigh couldn't contain her amusement and giggled, shaking her head as she stood up. 'Well, I'm gonna go clean up, then we can decide what to do from here.' She turned toward the bathroom, but paused as she got to the door and turned back around. 'Oh, and if I catch you trying to sneak a peek, I will castrate you.' Greed snickered, sliding back down onto his pillow. 'Why? You are my wife, after all. So that does technically belong to me,' he added, indicating... well, needless to say it wasn't her face. Leigh flushed a pale shade of pink, turning her nose up before entering the bathroom. 'Hmph. I can see why you call yourself "Greed",' she retorted, slamming the door shut behind her. Greed chuckled, shaking his head as he placed his hands behind his head. She was a spitfire, alright: his stereotypical choice in women. But she was a cutie. Different from all the ones he'd seen lately. But what was so different about her, so alluring to him, he just couldn't put his finger on. After about ten minutes Leigh came out, long hair pulled back into a ponytail as she sat down on the foot of the bed. 'Well... this is a predicament isn't it?' she asked, laughing nervously. Greed nodded. 'Yes, indeed it is. As I said earlier, a nice drive-in divorce place would really come in handy.'

Giggling, Leigh scooped up a pillow and tossed it at Greed as hard as she could manage, nailing him on the side of the head. 'Well, wishing for one won't help you any, now will it?' The impact of the large wad of cotton to his left ear made Greed tip over onto his side, landing on his shoulder only to feel something else land on his side, pinning him down to the bed. Shoving the pillow off his face, Greed couldn't help but smile as he saw what was currently holding him down: Leigh had her hands on his shoulders and was grinning from ear to ear, giggling like a little schoolgirl that was hopped up on sugar. 'Feeling frisky, are we?' he asked, quirking an eyebrow for a moment before bringing his arms up, nudging her backward and pinning her down in the same manner that she had done him. 'I can play that game too, you know.' Both a bit flustered and breathing a bit harder than normal, there was a moment where nothing was said, but there was no tension. They locked gazes and time itself seemed to stand still.

One who was well-rounded in sappy romance novels would coin this is an instant cheesy cliche moment, but in all reality, it wasn't. Something like that has to be experienced firsthand to be called something. For the sake of you dear readers, we'll call it 'the silent moment'. This silent moment went on for a good ten seconds before Greed finally broke it, leaning his head down and pressing his lips against Leigh's in one smooth motion. She jumped slightly, eyes widening for a brief moment before she caved in to the kiss and let all conscious thought go. Again there was a period where time itself seemed to stop. Nothing else mattered, no one else existed. For that one moment, the world itself seemed to stop spinning. It took a few seconds for them to break apart, the blush on both of their cheeks rising from a pale pink to a bright, almost garrish carnation, the violent color clashing magnificently with their pale skin. Both were even more breathless than before, noses touching at the tips as all of the stress from earlier melted through the box springs. Greed was the first to break the silence, chuckling under his breath as he shook his head. 'You know... I kinda like you. I think this 'marrige' thing could be fun.' Leigh wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping their gazes locked as she squirmed a bit beneath his body weight. 'Let's try this for a week. We'll call it a 'trial period'. If we hate each other, we'll work on separating. But you seem nice.' Greed furrowed his eyebrows for a few moments, thinking hard before nodding his head and sitting up, pulling Leigh up with him. 'Sounds fair. One week.' Leigh giggled, kissing him again. 'Now, let's talk about the family situation. How many kids do you think we should have?'

'Wait a second... I thought we were in a trial period!'

Fin.

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Sooooo... I hope you all enjoyed it. Took me two days to write the ending. Oh well. Reviews would be nice! -Anarchy


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